Me, Myself, and I

Hi, So this is my very first attempt at blogging.  I don't regularly read blogs, so this may be the worst blog ever.  Why, then, am I starting a blog? I think I should answer this by introducing myself.  I am a 42 year old woman, married, 3 kids, job, mortgage, dog, cats...you get my drift.  You may also wonder about my title - bumpy ride to the other side - well that is why I am here.  I have struggled most of my life with my weight.  I tend to yo-yo diet, and always end up worse than I started.  Now that I am 42, and have been 100+ pounds overweight for most of 20 years, my health has started to suffer.  I have numerous aches and pains, and seem to add a new complaint monthly.  So on July 9, 2012. I made a decision to start this weight loss journey again - only this time - the weight loss is not my focus....I am now focusing on my health! I want to eat healthy, and hopefully weight loss will be a side effect of my efforts.  Now don't get me wrong...I really, REALLY, want to lose weight.  But I had to take a look at my situation, and my past successes and failures.  I always start off strong, doing everything right, exercising, eating healthy, and counting calories, and for some reason - which I myself do not know - I lose steam.  I have lost as much as 50 lbs by exercising and eating right, and something just snapped... I fell off the wagon, slowly at first - had some pizza - no big deal.... then it gets out of control.  I see it happening...it's like I am separate from my body - my body takes over.  It eats whatever makes it happy... It's tired of "doing without".  I see myself stop exercising, eating unhealthy, and gaining weight... yes I'm aware its happening, but I am helpless to stop!  It terrifies me.  I hate myself for it.  It's depressing! But even worse - I don't know how to stop it from happening again..... this time.... now......
My hope is, that having this blog will give me some accountability and support.  If no one reads it but me - maybe it will keep me focused.  I don't have to be perfect.  I can fall off the wagon one day, all that's important is that I get back on again.  I want to be the healthy mom, that still feels like doing activities with her children and someday grandchildren.  I think this new healthy lifestyle is my only hope!  So here I am a few weeks into my new bumpy ride.... So far so good.  I have made good food choices.  I did venture off my new healthy lifestyle yesterday, and had  a "cheat day".  It was planned, so I felt in control.  I could tell a difference in one day, in the way I felt.  My old joint pains are "flaring" again...just after one day.  I'm back to eating healthy today, and hopefully I will learn from this, and see - what I eat, and put in my body, DOES make a difference!!!! 
I love to photograph food, and hope to learn how to use this blog to share pictures of yummy HEALTHY food and recipes.  If you have read this - Thank you! I appreciate your thoughts and comments!!